My DIETside is Showing

DIETside n. – that part of an individual that responds to the struggles of weight loss and weight management; sometimes it’s really dark.

Let’s face it, when it comes to weight loss, there is no shortage of information out there. There are countless books, websites, programs, drinks, bars and pills, all with the promise of fast, easy, lifelong weight loss. Every celebrity has their own take on the prevailing wisdom. Armchair dietitians, nutritionists and wannabe trainers offer their advice on blogs more numerous than the grains of sand.

Different strategies resonate with different people. We are all unique in our physical makeup, personality, preferences, life experiences and resources. There is not a one size fits all approach. At a certain level we have to figure it out ourselves. We must listen to our bodies and develop an understanding of our motivations that goes far beyond anyone else’s plan for us. We have to find what we can live with and sustain. It’s not easy. Sometimes what we can sustain isn’t what is ideal or healthiest, but it’s better than where we were – if we are seeing any success at all.

I have spent countless hours reading those books and websites, searching for answers or some hint of motivation. What I found was conflicting information and sugar coated “success” stories from people telling me how they have conquered their dieting demons and vanquished fat forever. I find pithy motivational sayings like, “She believed she could, so she did.” and “Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.” How about, “Mile by mile it’s a trial, but inch by inch it’s a cinch”? Occasionally I find the pious and completely unhelpful advice to just “move more and eat less”. Thanks Einstein, never thought of that. To think, I have been fat all these years for nothing!

I’m sorry, but my DIETside must be very different from these people, because there’s more to it than that. There are days that all I can believe is that I can’t. I have moments when anything and everything tastes better than being thin. Sometimes an inch seems like a thousand miles, and no, it is not a cinch. My diet demons are at bay some days, but always in the shadows, just waiting to pounce. Every pound shed is not permanently vanquished, merely lurking around the next holiday, girl’s night out or hormonal shift. I don’t get to ever be “normal”. I can’t give an inch mentally, or I lose control. Maybe some people really do get to the point that they can happily munch carrot sticks and not dream of chocolate cake and pizza, or whatever their former weakness might have been. I am NOT one of those people. I still struggle. I still throw tantrums. At times I become completely unhinged and truly believe that being fat would be better than what I have to do to not be fat.

Those moments are largely why I write. Sometimes our moments of darkness shed the most light on the issue. Maybe it’s our shared “failures” that provide the most motivation and support. Perhaps, strength comes from being real and raw, acknowledging our weaknesses so they don’t gain power over us. This is a long journey – one that never ends. Occasionally it’s not just rainbows and unicorns pooping Skittles…and that’s OK. In fact, it’s normal. The only people who don’t struggle are dead!

This site is dedicated to understanding the DIETside and using that information to fight it and maybe one day overcome it.

 

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